What is a Dad’s Role in Breastfeeding?
Can dads really help in breastfeeding?
Absolutely, yes!
Breastfeeding is often seen as a bond between mother and baby. Fathers.. I’m sure you’ve wondered how to help your partner in breastfeeding. The role of dads in breastfeeding can make the breastfeeding journey smoother and more fulfilling for both the mother and the baby. I can vouch first hand how dad’s play a crucial role in supporting their partners breastfeed as I was so grateful for all the help and support my husband gave me during my breastfeeding journey. My journey would have been far less enjoyable if my husband hadn’t shown the kind of support that he did. His support empowered me to continue breastfeeding. Literally, there are lots of good days, but sometimes when you are going through a tough day and coming so close to giving up, your partner plays an essential role in uplifting your spirits. This guide is designed to help dads understand how they can provide the best possible support during breastfeeding, with practical advice, encouragement, and personal experiences to guide you.
1. Educate Yourself About Breastfeeding
One of the best ways to support your breastfeeding partner is by educating yourself. Understanding how breastfeeding works, the challenges that might arise, and the different techniques and positions can prepare you to offer informed and effective support. Attend breastfeeding classes with your partner, read relevant books, and engage in discussions with healthcare providers to become well-versed in the process. Knowledge is key in helping you feel more confident in your role as a supportive partner. You can help way better when you know what exactly you are dealing with. You can read about some extremely useful breastfeeding tips that I wish I knew as a first time mom and other postpartum and baby care topics in my Postpartum Guide.
2. Be There from the Start: Supporting Breastfeeding from Day One
Your presence from the very beginning is invaluable. Whether your baby arrives on time or slightly early, like ours did, being involved from the start can make a significant difference.The journey starts even before the birth to be honest. Try to attend antenatal checkups and discuss about breastfeeding with your healthcare provider. Discuss whether you guys want to start expressing and collecting colostrum before birth in colostrum syringes. And after the baby is born, the mother is often exhausted from labour or caesarean and your help can be very useful in helping her initiate breastfeeding within an hour after birth as recommended by the World Health Organisation (WHO) and UNICEF. If breastfeeding is delayed due to medical reasons, for instance if your baby needs to be observed for sometime in a neonatal unit, assist your partner in hand expressing colostrum or using a breast pump to maintain her milk supply. This not only helps in preserving the supply but also ensures that your baby gets all the essential nutrients from colostrum. For those who do not know, colostrum is the initial milk that is produced by the body. It is slightly thinner in consistency, slightly yellowish in colour and high in antibodies from the mother that are good for the baby’s immunity.
3. Provide Emotional Support: Encouragement for Your Breastfeeding Partner
Trust me on this one! Breastfeeding can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when things don’t go as planned. As a mom, one minute you think “I’ve got this!” And the next second you are on the verge of giving up especially as a first time mom. The most critical role a supportive partner can play is to motivate your breastfeeding partner and offer emotional support. There will be moments of frustration, like if the baby struggles to latch or if the baby cluster feeds. Sometimes, milk supply issues arise— oversupply with milk leaking out can be difficult to deal with sometimes and undersupply can leave your baby crying and not getting satisfied or just cluster feeding all day. As a partner, your encouragement, understanding, and presence can help alleviate the mother’s stress and keep her motivated to breastfeed. Sometimes, saying something sweet is all that is needed to uplift a mom's spirits.
4. Assist with Feeding and Expressing:
If your baby breast and bottle feeds (combination feeding) or if your baby is not breastfeeding directly, assist your partner by bottle-feeding the expressed milk. This not only gives her a break, especially during the night, to spend sometime on her postpartum self-care but also allows her to get much-needed sleep. Additionally, take on the responsibility of washing and sterilising feeding equipment like bottles and pump parts. This task may seem small, but it significantly reduces the workload on your breastfeeding partner and ensures that she can focus on breastfeeding. Helping with feeding and expressing milk can be a game-changer.
5. Handle Nighttime Feeds: How Dads Can Help with Nighttime Breastfeeding?
Night feeds are one of the most challenging aspects of newborn care as baby’s wake up after every couple of hours or so to feed. If your baby is taking both breast and bottle, consider taking over some night feeds. This gives your partner the opportunity to sleep uninterrupted for several hours, which is crucial for her recovery and well-being. Even if your baby is exclusively breastfeeding, you can help by bringing the baby to your partner for feeds, changing diapers, and settling the baby back to sleep. If she has had a C-section, she will be so grateful for all of this especially taking the baby out of the cot and back in.
6. Help with Winding or Burping the Baby: An Essential Part of Feeding
Winding or burping the baby is an essential part of feeding, and it’s something dads can do to support the breastfeeding process. After feeding, your baby may need to be burped to release any trapped air that could cause discomfort. You can step in by gently patting or rubbing the baby’s back until they burp, allowing your partner to rest or prepare for the next feeding. This not only helps in preventing fussiness or colic but also gives you a special role in the feeding process.
7. Create a Comfortable and Relaxing Environment for Breastfeeding
A calm and stress-free environment can enhance the breastfeeding experience and help with milk production. Help create a cozy feeding space with pillows, easy access to snacks and water, and a peaceful atmosphere. Investing in a comfortable feeding chair can also be beneficial. If your partner is expressing milk, showing her pictures of the baby or talking about your love for your baby can help with milk letdown. This is because the brain releases a hormone called oxytocin in response to feelings of love and it is the same hormone that is responsible for milk flow.
8. Be the Gatekeeper of Visitors: Protecting Your Partner’s Breastfeeding Space
In the early days of breastfeeding, it’s essential to manage visitors effectively. You can act as the gatekeeper, ensuring that visitors do not overwhelm your partner. Schedule visits around breastfeeding times, or kindly ask visitors to wait if your partner needs privacy or rest. This helps in maintaining a calm environment conducive to successful breastfeeding.
9. Encourage Self-Care: Support Your Partner’s Well-Being During Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is physically and emotionally demanding, and it’s easy for new mothers to neglect their own needs. Sometimes newborns can be so demanding that as a mother it’s difficult to find time to shower, comb hair or even brush your teeth! Encourage your partner to take time for self-care, whether it’s self grooming, a shower, a relaxing bath, a walk outside, a book read, some screen time, some much needed sleep or simply some quiet time alone. You can facilitate this by taking care of the baby while she takes a break, reminding her that self-care is essential for both her well-being and successful breastfeeding.
10. Look After Your Partner’s Health and Nutrition: Supporting Breastfeeding Through Diet
Good nutrition and hydration are vital for maintaining a healthy milk supply. Help your partner by preparing nutritious meals and snacks, ensuring she stays hydrated, and making sure she has easy access to water and healthy food throughout the day. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), a breastfeeding woman needs about 450 to 500 extra calories per day. This supports milk production and maintains her energy levels. So, your assistance in meal preparation is not just appreciated but necessary.
11. Assist with Nursing Positions: Making Breastfeeding More Comfortable
Learning different nursing positions can make breastfeeding more comfortable for your partner. Assist her in finding the right positions, adjust pillows as needed, and ensure she is comfortable during feeds. This can be particularly helpful in the early days when both mother and baby are still getting the hang of breastfeeding.
12. Be Patient and Understanding: Emotional Support for Breastfeeding Moms
Breastfeeding can bring a whirlwind of emotions. Your partner might experience frustration, exhaustion, or feelings of inadequacy. She might get angry for no reason or cry for no reason. Be patient and understanding during these times. Listen to her concerns without judgment, offer a shoulder to cry on if needed, and constantly remind her that she is doing an incredible job.
13. Be Prepared for Ups and Downs: Navigating the Challenges of Breastfeeding
Even after overcoming initial hurdles, the breastfeeding journey can still have its ups and downs. There may be days when your baby cluster feeds all day, particularly during growth spurts. These periods can be exhausting for your partner, so it’s important to offer extra support. Take on more household chores, let your partner rest, and remind her that these phases are temporary.
14. Seek Professional Help When Needed: Accessing Lactation Support
Don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance if breastfeeding isn’t going as smoothly as expected. Lactation consultants and local infant feeding teams can provide invaluable support and advice. In our case, professional help was crucial in navigating challenges when our baby initially rejected breastfeeding. With the right guidance, we were able to transition our baby back to breastfeeding successfully.
15. Create a Feeding Log: Keeping Track of Breastfeeding Progress
In the early days, keeping track of feedings, diaper changes, and sleep patterns can be helpful. Take on the task of maintaining a feeding log to monitor the baby’s progress and recognise any patterns or issues early on. This also helps in relieving some of the mental load on your partner.
16. Support the Transition Back to Work: Breastfeeding Support for Working Moms
If your partner plans to return to work while still breastfeeding, help her navigate the transition. Assist with selecting a breast pump, setting up a pumping schedule, and preparing her for expressing milk at work. You can also take on additional responsibilities at home to ease the workload during this period.
17. Be an Advocate for Your Partner’s Breastfeeding Choices
Sometimes, mothers face pressure from well-meaning friends or family members who suggest formula feeding if breastfeeding is challenging. As a dad, you can play a crucial role in advocating for your partner’s breastfeeding choices. Support her decisions and help communicate these choices to others, ensuring she feels confident and empowered.
18. Encourage Skin-to-Skin Contact: Bonding with Baby Through Breastfeeding
Skin-to-skin contact isn’t just for moms; dads can do it too. Holding your baby close to your bare chest can help with bonding and calm a fussy baby. This can also make it easier for your partner to nurse the baby when it’s time to breastfeed.
19. Be Flexible and Adaptable: Navigating Changes in the Breastfeeding Journey
Breastfeeding doesn’t always go as planned, and it’s important to be flexible and adaptable. If something isn’t working, be open to trying new approaches or seeking alternatives that suit your family’s needs. This might mean introducing a combination of breastfeeding and bottle-feeding, adjusting feeding routines, or re-evaluating your original plans if necessary.
20. Celebrate Breastfeeding Milestones: Acknowledge Achievements with Your Partner
Breastfeeding is a journey with many milestones—whether it’s the first successful latch, the first time your baby sleeps through the night, or reaching a personal breastfeeding goal. Celebrate these achievements together, no matter how small. Recognising these moments can boost your partner’s morale and reinforce the sense of accomplishment.
21. Provide Reassurance During Public Breastfeeding: Supporting Your Partner’s Confidence
For some mothers, breastfeeding in public can be a source of anxiety. As a supportive partner, you can help ease these concerns by reassuring her, finding comfortable and private spots if needed, and standing up for her right to breastfeed in public. Your support can help her feel more confident and relaxed when feeding the baby outside the home.
22. Find Your Role and Embrace It: Supporting Breastfeeding as a Partner
Every family’s breastfeeding journey is unique, and so is the role of a supportive partner. It’s important to find ways to be involved that work for your family. For us, once breastfeeding was well-established, my role included giving our baby a bottle (sometimes expressed breast milk and occasionally formula) during the night so my wife could get some well-deserved rest. Finding a balance that allows your partner to rest while ensuring your baby is well-fed is crucial. Embrace your role fully, as your involvement can make a significant difference in your partner's breastfeeding experience.
23. Celebrate the Wins and Be Patient with the Struggles as You Navigate the Breastfeeding Journey
Like I mentioned before, Breastfeeding can be a rollercoaster, with moments of joy and moments of frustration. Celebrate the wins, no matter how small, and be patient during the struggles. After our initial challenges, breastfeeding eventually became less of a struggle and more natural. Our baby transitioned to taking both breast and bottle, which was a significant achievement for us. But even after things seemed to settle, we experienced days of cluster feeding and growth spurts that required extra patience and support. These moments can be challenging, but staying patient and supportive is key to getting through them together.
24. Practice Mindfulness Together: Staying Present During the Breastfeeding Journey
Breastfeeding can sometimes feel overwhelming for both the mother and the partner, especially when challenges arise. Practicing mindfulness together can help you both stay present and focused during this journey. Whether it’s through deep breathing exercises, short meditation sessions, or simply taking a few quiet moments together before or after a feeding session, mindfulness can reduce stress and strengthen your emotional connection. By encouraging a calm and supportive environment, you can help make the breastfeeding experience more peaceful and enjoyable for your partner, ultimately fostering a stronger bond between you, your partner, and your baby.
25. Help Look After Other Children
If this is not your first baby, and you have other kids, help your partner by looking after them and attending to their needs. Looking after older siblings not only takes the pressure off your partner during breastfeeding sessions, but it also helps maintain a sense of routine and normalcy for the other children. Whether it’s taking them to school, preparing meals, or simply spending quality time with them, your support can create a calmer environment, allowing your partner to focus on the baby and breastfeeding without distractions.
26. Don’t Give Up: Perseverance in Breastfeeding
One of the most important pieces of advice I can offer is not to give up. The early days of breastfeeding can be incredibly challenging, but perseverance truly pays off. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Encourage your partner to keep going, remind her of the reasons why you’re on this journey together, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. Often, the struggles are just a matter of days, and once you push through, the bond that breastfeeding creates between mother and baby is immeasurable.
Final Thoughts
Breastfeeding can be tough but incredibly rewarding. With the right kind of support from a partner, the journey becomes smoother for everyone involved. A dad’s role in breastfeeding is crucial—not only in offering emotional support but also in helping with the baby and household tasks, which allows the mother to focus on nursing. I say this as a mother who has been through the breastfeeding journey: when a partner is actively involved, it makes all the difference. Together, you can create a nurturing environment that promotes bonding and success in breastfeeding.
Good luck!
Further Reading:
Hey dad, if you're looking for the perfect words of encouragement to say to your partner during her pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, or postpartum journey—or just to remind her of how amazing motherhood is—check out our compilation of the best Motivational Quotes on Pregnancy and Childbirth. Also, empower yourself with knowledge by reading our Postpartum and Newborn Guide.
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